I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
