just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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