i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
