Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
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czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
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I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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