I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
