Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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