Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
