i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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