you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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