I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
