you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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