Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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