Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
