I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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