we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize