carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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