I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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