you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
