I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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