That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
