Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
