i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
