he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
