If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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