Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I had to cum in my sink.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
