Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
