break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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