I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
