I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize