Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
