She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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