Betty ford says i'm here all night
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
