I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
