His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Do you still have your period?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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