I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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