It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
is that a dick in a sweater?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
