Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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