Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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