I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
True college students do jello shots in the library
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
