This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
