ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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