Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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