New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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