no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Randomize
