You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
