I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
