Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
