STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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