Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
