i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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