EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
