Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
