i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
