kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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