guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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