Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
