god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
