I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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