By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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